“I want to Love and not to be afraid any more”
I know the one who was killed by a homophobia. This is my friend Andrey. We got acquainted with him when to us was years on nine. How many he knew – he was the timid, kind, lovely boy, however, closed. In fourteen years I to him admitted that I like not only guys, but also girls. He, in turn, trusted in me and told that he was always attracted only by guys … At school nobody knew anything. But Andrey was all the same teased: he was modest, a little with whom communicated and did not meet girls. In the tenth class one of schoolmates decided to play a trick. Created a page in a social network on behalf of, say, Alex. Wrote acquaintances and began “to stick”: like, he is a gay and looks for the love. Monitored reaction and had fun. And here he decided to write to Andrey. My friend not at once, but after all reciprocated. Next day all school learned about it. Andrey ceased to go to study, it was not weeks three. Then he appeared. Schoolmates were silent, smiled – and all. After lessons they called Andrey to smoke for garages. I do not know, forced or he went. There they beat him. Strongly. We with the schoolmate went to smoke for these garages and there found Andrey. Called an ambulance. He was taken away. Heavy concussion, fractures of several edges, hematomas on all body. Us at first to Andrey did not even let in chamber, only relatives. Somewhere in a week resolved. I went to him every day. I so felt sorry for him. Approximately in a month Andrey was written out. He told that parents transferred him to other school. Promised: let’s meet in the evening. When I came to him, Andrey’s mother opened for me a door drowned in tears and told that he jumped off from the 14-storey house in the morning.
Ninety six of hundred fifteen respondents on social networks of teenagers, that is 83,5%, answered that they constantly face any discrimination: with physical abuse, a beating, restriction of freedom, insults, sneers, threats, contempt, disgust, humiliation. Not only those who made coming out of the closet, but also those who are suspected of non-conventional sexual orientation, those who in word and deed intercede for LGBT are exposed to discrimination
I do not want to hear exclamations that I did not find the guy that it on stupidity, by youth that it yet because I was not loved by boys because of a figure. I want to love and not to be afraid any more. I, as well as many, also understood that there is in me no this put “correctness”, and last year fell in love and understood that only such feelings are close to me. I do not tell it to them, maybe, somewhere deeply in soul I think what and the truth will scare me, and I will not like girls any more. Just I AM AFRAID. I am afraid not to find support in the future, one is afraid to remain, alone with inclination to the floor. Until I came across community of Cameraboys, I did not think that there is a lot of us. Before I was using random cams to chat with gay friends and have some sexual fun on cams. The fact that we are still young does not mean that we do not understand life that we are silly and are not skillful. We have feelings, the thoughts, we can make decisions.
We address not the Kremlin, and the state which still has obligations to all citizens; that policy which is pursued in relation to the LGBT people is policy of sexual abuse of minors. The state has obligations, including international on protection of the rights of children – for example, the rights to information, the right for development. There is a big group of minors of teenage LGBT to which these rights are not guaranteed
All life I liked guys. Internally denied and did not accept even a thought that I am a gay. In five years climbed to kiss to the boy from kindergarten, but it was seen by my mother and abused me. Began to realize who and that is pleasant to me, years in twelve. Watched a gay porn, but the gay of did not consider at all. Suffered from loneliness and tried to look for the girl as all. But at the same time understood that girls do not excite me at all. In fifteen suggested one girl to meet, but we quarreled every other day. A depression behind a depression. <…> In two weeks prior to the 16 anniversary I accepted myself it what I am. I for the first time mentally called myself the gay. And it was not a shame to me or it is terrible, I had no disgust for myself. As though a load off the mind. And in two months I went on a date with the guy and for the first time fell in love. Two months of happiness past quickly. And then in the December morning I was woken by parents and led on kitchen on an important conversation. Until I slept, SMS from the guy with a wish of kind morning came. Parents were interested long ago: “Who it writes all the time to you?”. They took an interest and this time, having read correspondence, all our with him. The first question was: “Whom do you love?”. The second: “And you thought of us? What about us will be told if find out?”. What I told that day and in all the subsequent – everything was given a hostile reception and addressed against me. In one of the Whatsapp messages my boyfriend wrote the address. Parents did not ignore it and said that they will go to him and will tell all to his parents. Mother cried. The father read aloud the “pleasant” messages. And I told that if they go to him, then houses will not see me anymore. Worked. But I could not see him anymore. What’s next? Farther the depression which lasted for a year a senseless talk with parents, fruitless attempts to begin normal dialogue. Wrote to the guy that we, most likely, will meet very at a distant day and that he should find to himself someone. <…> History not really sad and not so tragic. I understand: what happened in my life – a trifle in comparison with what happens in lives of many others. What would I want to tell them? Yes, anything special: tomorrow it will be better, than yesterday. Do not despair and do not give up. Be not afraid to be those who you are is. Always there will be those who will understand you who will offer to you a hand who will fall in love with you.
There is no sense to address the state, it makes sense to address society and to convey information to him. I disown all the time from the fact that I politicize – I do charity work, and in charity the supreme value is life of each private person. But in this war peace methods of fight do not work. Yes, many people who will decide to make coming out of the closet will suffer, and to it is necessary to be ready – in a different way to win war. The homophobic majority wishes LGBT of death, and I do not understand why it is necessary to work with pink methods. We, heterosexuals, have to preach that they in Auschwitz sat LGBT and Jews, and Jews have rights now, and at LGBT – no. And it has to be a clear policy on brainwashing from a homophobia by the undecided to people and that who else can be saved. Hundreds of the LGBT children have to make coming out of the closet
In a month to me 15 years will knock. I buy. Biologically I the girl, morally it is rather a guy. Generally, as they say, “not in that body”. I love the same person – the girl feeling as the man. We even joke that actually we are gays. Parents know nothing. And if found out, then would hardly approve similar “immoral behavior” (so my mother calls everything, belonging to LGBT). I am afraid to admit that I am not such. I am afraid to tell: “Please, will be enough to consider me by the weaker sex”. It is terrible to me to tell relatives that I love the girl, it is “wrong”. It is unpleasant to think of what will be told by my homophobic schoolmates when they find out the truth. I am an honors pupil. I pull victories in the Olympic Games almost all class. I already carry the nickname “botanist”. I think, I will not take out one more offensive nickname. So there is a strong wish that people understood: we are same as they. We differ in nothing. Just we know that the love does not know borders. Children-404. Nonexistent. Society or considers us freaks with mental deviations, or just does not want to recognize that we exist. But we are. And we just want to live quietly. Unless it is so difficult to arrange it?.
For the last ten years I observed several currents: at first it was fashionable to be engaged in chemical prevention at teenagers, then there was a HIV prevention, xenophobia prevention, now – violence prevention. Real researches were conducted, grants which were spent for business were distributed. But, unfortunately, I did not notice that there was less chemically dependent, HIV-positive or it is more tolerant. I consider that pointed work with concrete people is necessary. Aggression to gays among teenagers is an undifferentiated aggression: always in group there is a derelict who will be pursued and pressed. When the image of the victim is created – for example, the teenage gay, it gives the chance to merge undifferentiated teenage aggression on gay minority
Dear children-404! I am 50 years old, I suit you for mothers. I have three daughters and though I always loved only men, I never hid from them that someone can love people of one with them a floor. It is not bad, it is not ridiculous, it is not sad, I said to them, it just like that, and all. I told it, answering sometimes the questions asked me. I did not hide from them and the fact that couple of our male friends – steam, but not just good friends as all considered around. – Well and that? – I spoke. – It is all the same best of all to love the person of the same floor, than at all to love nobody! – It is easy for you to argue! – age-mates reproached me. – And here if your own daughter or son?. I believed what to me will be all the same with whom my child is happy though all thought that it is mere words. And recently I learned that my oldest daughter left the husband and that now she has a girlfriend. Or rather, favorite. And I am glad for both of them. I do not know so far as it will be died at other my daughters, but I anyway will support their choice. The main thing that they fell in love with the worthy person and were happy. I am very sorry that the few people of my generation share my views. It we, adults, are guilty of what atmosphere of intolerance developed in our society. It is because of us is so difficult for you. You are not guilty that you such what are.
The law which the authorities are going to adopt at the federal level will make teenage LGBT invisible. Unfortunately, because of the local law on the ban of gay propaganda among minors to us cannot come teenage LGBT, all the same come – informally. We are engaged in pointed work: one boy was afraid that the father will turn out him if he learns about his homosexuality, we communicated to mother, having decided that it is better for father to report later – he is Armenian, and in strength of mind it is more complex to him to apprehend this news. As a result mother quickly and flexibly apprehended all, and the situation, as far as we know, was resolved safely
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If you are a young gay man you may feel lonely sometimes, this also applies to situations while you are having a terrible time or any kind of problems in your relationships. You can find lots ways to get help, and the one we would recommend is to chat with like-minded people and sex chat places is a good way, as our study once showed – men who are in problems go to seek help in sex with other same sex orientation relationships.
As you are entering chat room, you have to know what kind of action you want, about what topics you would love to chat. By doing that you can select live sex chat partner from live gay models. Most of them love to chat and of course they like sex as all of them are online to relax and have virtual sex. That is the main thing all people go to sex cam sites.
Of course, many of other visitors come just to watch, and you are different and want to chat, so let other party know about your intentions and make it clear. However, don’t be strict and know that you never know how it will all turn out.
Before you open up about your problems get to know other person and the best way to do it is to start a conversation with questions that can lead to interesting conversation to get to know each other. Every person loves then other human being is interested in them, so with questions about them you are showing that you are not selfish and care about person you are chatting with.
Now make sure that you both are speaking the same language, as chat rooms are full of people not only from English speaking countries but from the whole world. So this is important aspect as if you can’t understand each other no matter how good other person will look, and how good his profile will be, you have to speak the same language.
In conclusion, I would like to note that being alone is never a solution so going to chat with other like-minded people will help to take the stone from your heart.
Read Full EntryHIV TESTING, COUNSELING & HEALTH-RELATED SERVICES
Callen-Lorde Community Health Center
356 W. 18th Street (18th Street & 9th Avenue)
Phone: 212-271-7800
www.callen-lorde.org
Callen-Lorde Community Health Center is New York City’s only primary health care center dedicated to meeting the health care needs of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities and people living with HIV/AIDS-regardless of any patient’s ability to pay.
Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC)
The Tisch Building
119 West 24th Street
Hotline: 800-243-7692; 212-807-6655
www.gmhc.org
Substance Use Counseling & Education (S.U.C.E.)
212-367-1354.
S.U.C.E. offers individual and group counseling for gay and bisexual male substance users.
Gay Men’s Counseling & Education (G.M.C.E.) – 212-367-1000.
G.M.C.E. offers individual and group counseling for gay and bisexual men.
David Geffen Center for HIV Prevention & Health Education
212-367-1353.
The David Geffen Center offers free HIV testing to all, as well as pre- and post-test counseling.
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center
208 West 13th Street
Phone: 212-620-7310
www.gaycenter.org
The Center offers a variety of 12-Step Groups for G/L/B/T persons including Crystal Meth Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Sexual Compulsives Anonymous. Call the center or go to the website for information more information.
The Pride Institute
Phone: 800-54-PRIDE
www.pride-institute.com
The Pride Institute offers both inpatient and outpatient treatment for gay and lesbian persons with a chemical dependency. To talk with an admissions counselor, call 1-800-54-PRIDE.
East Harlem Health Center
158 East 115th Street
Phone: 212-360-5904
The East Harlem Health Center offers free HIV/STD testing, primary health care, and dental care.
Central Harlem Health Center
2238 5th Avenue
Phone: 212-690-1760
The Central Harlem Health Center offers free HIV/STD testing and primary health care.
Gay Men of African Descent (GMAD)
103 East 125th Street, Suite 503
New York, NY 10035-1641
Phone: 212-828-1697
www.gmad.org
gmad@gmad.org
GMAD offers a wide range of programmatic support that reflects the far flung needs and interests of the black gay community. These programs are designed to strengthen GMAD’s impact on both an individual and organizational level. This is accomplished through HIV testing, technical assistance and training, advocacy, drop-in and support groups, and groups for our Seniors and young adults. The groups vary according to age, identity and HIV status.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
National AIDS Clearinghouse (Information and publication orders)
1-800-458-5231
TTY: 1-800-243-1098
Hours: Monday through Friday 9:00 am to 6:00 pm
GMHC AIDS Hotline
1-800-AIDS-NYC (1-800-243-7692)
TTY: 1-212-645-7470
Hours: Monday through Friday 10:00 am to 9:00 pm (Eastern Time); Saturday, 12:00 to 3:00 pm
E-mail: hotline@gmhc.org
General AIDS hotline for those worried that they may be infected, or people trying to access New York City AIDS resources.
National AIDS Hotline
1-800-CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636)
TTY: 1-888-232-6348
Hours: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
E-mail: cdcinfo@cdc.gov
In English, en Español.
The Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Hours: Monday through Friday 4:00 pm to 12:00 am;
Saturday 12:00 noon to 5:00 pm
E-mail: glnh@glnh.org
A non-profit organization which provides nationwide toll-free peer-counseling, information, and referrals for youth and adults.
AIDSinfo
1-800-HIV-0440 (1-800-448-0440)
TTY: 1-888-480-3739
International: 1-301-519-0459
Fax: 1-301-519-6616
Hours: Monday through Friday 12:00 pm to 5:00 pm (Eastern Time)
E-mail: contactus@aidsinfo.nih.gov
Callers can speak with experienced health specialists for information about approved HIV treatment and help in locating HIV/AIDS clinical trials across the USA. In English and en Español.
AIDS Treatment Data Network
1-800-734-7104
International: 1-212-260-8868
Hours: Monday through Friday 9:00 am to 6:00 pm (Eastern Time)
Project Inform
National HIV/AIDS Treatment Infoline: 1-800-822-7422
International: 1-415-558-9051
Hours: Monday through Friday 10:00 am to 4:00 pm (Pacific Time)
Our community contains gay men from all over the world and as today it’s easy to have relationships online using live cams we often meet new people so that is a great place to get in touch with men online.
There is several ways, one is to use dating sites made for gay only and other is to go to live sex cams and pick appropriate category to chat instantly with couples or single person.
The quality of live feed is perfect that you can see every detail of how the other person looks like and hear the sound of what he is saying in real time, the sound is clear and without any delays like on other communication apps like Skype and similar.
We are always looking for new members in our community, so if you love to study struggles of same sex and the challenges the world sends us you should contact us right away and join our study to share information and also gain knowledge from all of us.
We have meeting online every other day to chat up interesting things we found out and also publish them here for everybody to see. If you have interesting ideas write them down and let us know about your health or other struggles.
Read Full EntryHey Guys… are you in a same-sex relationship? We want to talk about it!
Our goal at the You & Me Study is to better understand how issues like culture, masculinity, and homophobia influence the way men think about their relationships and sexual health. By talking with couples we can get a better picture of how men form relationships, relate to one another, communicate, and stay healthy.
Tell us about your relationship, health, sex lives and experiences. You and your partner will each earn $40 and find our if you qualify for other research opportunities.
Beyond participating, there are many ways to get involved:
The You & Me Study is funded by the National Institute of Mental Health and is a collaborative effort among researchers at San Francisco State University, the University of California at San Francisco, and Columbia University. This work is being conducted by a team of researchers in San Francisco and New York, namely Principal Investigator, Dr. Colleen Hoff (SF) and Co-Investigator, Dr. Patrick Wilson (NYC).
Fill the contact form below and we will get back to you.
The You & Me Study is funded by the National Institute of Mental Health and is a collaborative effort among researchers at San Francisco State University, the University of California at San Francisco, and Columbia University. This work is being conducted by a team of researchers in San Francisco and New York, namely Principal Investigator, Dr. Colleen Hoff (SF) and Co-Investigator, Dr. Patrick Wilson (NYC).
Our goal at the You & Me Study is to better understand how issues like culture, masculinity, and homophobia influence the way men think about their relationships and sexual health. By talking with couples we can get a better picture of how men form relationships, relate to one another, communicate, and stay healthy.
Our study emphasizes the experiences and knowledge of our participants. We respect the contributions that members of the community will make to this project because we know that couples are the experts of their own relationships. We believe that research should benefit the community. By speaking with us and reflecting on your life and relationship, you are taking an active role in that process.
The You & Me study is taking a new look at the way men who have sex with men approach relationships. Previous research focuses on individuals and we’re building on that research to get a better understanding of the way same-sex couples interact with each other and the world.
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